It's just coffee...

The more I work in food service, the more I get a kick out of people and their funny little habits.

I work at a popular coffee fast food restaurant that has made a name for itself selling coffee and donuts that has become ingrained into the very fiber and DNA of people's daily routines in this region. In my three years of working for this company, I have met many a customer who plan their road trips around where they'll be able to get their coffee fix. Many smokers are heavily addicted to our coffee and as a result, we see many of them several times through out the day feeding their addiction. As long as everything runs smoothly and everything they want is available, no one blows a gasket.

BUT...if something tragic happens, like we run out of cappuccino mix or decaf coffee or our tea machine breaks (all things which are out of the average worker's control...we don't do the ordering and machines are bound to break), boy, oh boy! watch out! This week, we have had all of the above mentioned mishaps occur so we have had to deal the wrath of some very nasty customers. Most are understanding (those are the ones who realize that it's just coffee...no need to have a heart attack over a machine that breaks or running out of a product) but the memorable ones are the ones who genuinely feel that we are in a conspiracy targeted only at them. One lady has become one of regulars has a bit of a love/hate relationship with us. She's a rather demanding woman, expecting things to be just so. If she tips, we've met her expectations (having her coffee ready in a tray and she doesn't have to wait for anything) but if something is not to her liking, she lets you know it. A month ago, we had run out of decaf coffee so when she came to the drive-thru speaker to put her order in, we had to let her know that we could fill the regular coffee order but not the decaf. Well, she didn't want anything then. Most customers would have left it at that and just driven through rather than stopping at the window. She stopped. She demanded to know why we had no decaf coffee. We explained that it was an ordering shortage. Doesn't the manager know how to put in the order? came her curt reply. We simply said that he does know how to put in the order but sometimes things just get forgotten. That was not good enough for her; she was calling the head office. How could someone not order enough decaf? What is the world coming to?! I don't know what resolution the head office gave her but they must have appeased her somehow because this week, we ran out of decaf, she simply changed her order and made no threats to call the higher ups.

The customers that really crack me up are the ones who ask if we joking when we say we're out of what they're looking for. My sarcastic side wants to retort with, "Yup, it's all just a bad joke". Obviously, I never have said that to a customer and never would but it sure is tempting. Yesterday was probably the best reaction to our "out of decaf" response. This customer is a regular but also very innocent. After ordering their decaf coffee, we proceeded to tell them we were out. They suggested we put on another pot. We had to emphasize we had no decaf coffee packets in the store with which to make decaf. Oh. Well, are all the other stores out too? We responded that it was not likely that all the other stores were out of decaf as well. Another store should be able to serve you decaf. The customer's final question was if we were going to continue having decaf?......
Uh...what?!....how did it escalate from "we're out of decaf until our delivery arrives in a couple of hours to we're not to have decaf anymore"? We got quite a chuckle out of that response. Yup, it's a conspiracy...all the stores across Canada are going to stop carrying decaf and not tell anyone so you'll have to try and put in your order for decaf and get disappointed every time (insert impression of evil, maniacal laugh). Our goal is to get you addicted and then tell you you can't have it because we're not going to carry it anymore (insert more evil, maniacal laughter).

After 3 years of working for this company, I am still amazed at the level of addiction and "ownership" our customers have at our stores. The more extreme the reaction, the more memorable they are. One guy decided to bust up our drive-thru speaker because we had closed early for the holidays and he didn't get there in time to get his coffee before we closed. Every morning, we have our two "fixtures" who are banging on the window wanting us to open early so they can claim their seats that they compete only with themselves to acquire. We also have our regular seat warmer crowd who come in expecting that we will drop everything, even pass on waiting on the next customer in line, to tend to their every whim and need for 1 packet of sugar or 2 creamers and get upset with us if we ask them to wait until we're finished waiting on the customer at hand.

It amazes me that something as simple as coffee can be so integrated into their daily routines that they have a need to protect it. It's just coffee, folks, it's just coffee.